Tag Archives: Sports
Amputee Sprinter Ruled Ineligible for Olympics
From the Archives: I wrote this satirical piece in January 2008 after reading about Oscar Pistorius, a sprinter who was deemed ineligible because his prosthetic legs gave him an unfair … Continue reading
Pirates Impressed with Crystal, Sign Comedian to Multi-Year Contract
From the Archives: I wrote this satirical piece in March 2008 after the Yankees signed Billy Crystal and played him in a spring training game against the Pirates. I remembered … Continue reading
Tom Jackson Shoots Chris Berman
From the Archives: I wrote this satirical piece in December 2007, back when I was writing for a website that was kind of like Onion Sports Network – only we … Continue reading
Manchester City v. Manchester United – English Premier League, 2011 – Live Tweetstream
I really don’t want to talk about this game anymore. In fact, I would rather: 10. Watch Liverpool’s DVD where they somehow justify using the phrase “Treble” for winning three … Continue reading
Liverpool v. Manchester United – English Premier League, 2011 – Live Tweetstream
Manchester United were flying to start the season, but have come back to earth a bit after two draws against Stoke City and in the Champions League against Basel, as … Continue reading
Manchester United v. Manchester City – F.A. Community Shield, 2011 – Live Tweetstream
The Community Shield may be glorified friendly, but there won’t be any fuzzy feelings when the red and blue sides of Manchester clash. Last year, the Red Devils won their … Continue reading
Federal Judge Rules Cuban Can’t Use “Unclean Hands” Defense in SEC Case
The end of the Summer of Cuban? Hardly…
Judge Rules in Favor of Players in Labor Dispute with NFL
Rejected lede: “A federal judge has intervened in the NFL labor impasse that has grown longer than Tom Brady’s hair.”
Manchester United v. Everton – English Premier League Live Tweetstream
The Other-Northwest Derby has been a competitive fixture in recent years. Everton have taken 4 points against United over the last two years, and famously knocked United out of the … Continue reading
Manchester United v. Arsenal – FA Cup Quarterfinals Tweetstream
It’s always a big deal whenever Arsenal and Manchester United get together, but both teams come into this quarterfinal F.A. Cup clash in desperate need of a win. After going … Continue reading