Tag Archives: football

Tom Jackson Shoots Chris Berman

From the Archives: I wrote this satirical piece in December 2007, back when I was writing for a website that was kind of like Onion Sports Network – only we … Continue reading

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Judge Rules in Favor of Players in Labor Dispute with NFL

Rejected lede: “A federal judge has intervened in the NFL labor impasse that has grown longer than Tom Brady’s hair.”

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Steelers Win Handicap Match Against Raiders

Ever since James Harrison took out two Browns and Troy Polamalu dared to question the wisdom of Roger Goodell changing the rules midway through the season because he suddenly seems … Continue reading

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Dude, Where’s My FOX?

The Legal Strategy Behind the Fox-Cablevision Dispute. Sad thing is, I wrote this more than two weeks before the two sides finally resolved their differences and made a deal. I … Continue reading

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Steelers vs. Dolphins Tweetstream

The Steelers welcomed back Ben Roethlisberger last weekend, and it looked like he hadn’t missed a beat. Ben re-ignited what had been a moribund offense (32nd ranked passing offense, 31st … Continue reading

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Fantasy Sports Don’t Mean a Thing Without That Ring

From Columbia News Service. When Ben Roethlisberger won his second Super Bowl in 2009, he won more than the right to touch the shiny Vince Lombardi trophy for a few … Continue reading

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Philip Rivers Grants Wish

From the Archives: In honor of my least favorite quarterback in the NFL, I thought I’d recycle this article I wrote for a sports humor website a couple of years … Continue reading

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If Only a Bunch of Pirates Fans Would Get Together and Do This

If Bills fans are this upset, then I can only imagine how Raiders or Rams fans must feel. Of course, this begs the question: Shouldn’t this guy be more focused … Continue reading

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It’s Time for a Change in the NFL

If I ever became commissioner of the NFL, I would do several things: – Ban Ray Lewis for life – or at least force him to wear a special jersey … Continue reading

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