Renee and her old flame, what's-his-name...
Previously on “24″…
Dana got a call from Kevin’s probation officer, and she decided to take time off from her busy job of preventing a terrorist attack in order to talk to him. I’m not sure what’s the point. It’s not like he can bust Kevin on a probation violation now. Jack talked Marcos out of the chamber, but Jack wasn’t able to stop the bomb from exploding. Jack was unscathed, though, and I’m starting to think that the terrorists could drop a nuclear bomb directly on him, and he wouldn’t be hurt. Speaking of nuclear bombs, Tarin is actually involved in the plot, which shows that President Hassan wasn’t that paranoid after all. No Renee last week, as she’s apparently waiting in Jack’s apartment so that they can – um- talk once this crisis is over.
- 3:00 – Bubba helpfully recaps the last hour for us, rendering the entire “Previously on 24″ stuff at the beginning of the show useless. Arlo wants to know who to report to, Dana or Chloe. You see, he has no problem standing at attention and saluting either one of them. In his pants, of course.
- 3:02 – Tarin gets a call from Samir, and he’s told to bring Kayla with him and get away from the hotel. Tarin is still trying to be nice to Kayla, agreeing to give her a few more seconds, and I have a feeling he’s not 100% behind what’s about to go down. Or else he really does love her.
- 3:03 – Some NYPD officer named Sgt. Amos is on the scene and Jack orders him to set up a perimeter. “Make sure you leave the back entrance completely unguarded so that the hostile can escape and we can drag this out for a few more episodes,” Jack reminds him. Okay, I made that up. Or did I?
- 3:06 – The NYPD need to learn about subtlety as Tarin sees several troops brazenly running towards the hotel. All that was missing were the blaring sirens and Sgt. Amos getting on the megaphone and shouting “Tarin! We have you surrounded!” Tarin breaks down the bathroom door with his shoulder (which was pretty impressive) and grabs Kayla. Jack realizes what is going on, and he orders Sgt. Amos to maintain his perimeter. Sgt. Amos, of course, doesn’t listen to Jack and decides to go in after Tarin. Do I need to tell you what’s about to happen here?
- 3:08 – Tarin kills two police officers (including Famous Amos), grabs a walkie-talkie and impersonates an officer. Man, he’s just racking up those crimes, isn’t he? Tarin tries to clear an exit path for himself and Kayla, but Jack realizes what is going on. Tarin manages to escape anyway as his associate pulls up in a taxi and kills two cops, allowing Tarin to escape. On second thought, it’s entirely possible that the guy was just a regular cab driver and not an associate of Tarin’s.
- 3:10 – Jack sees the cab pulled off to the side of the tunnel, and Jack screams at them to come out. Come on, Jack, we all know there’s no one in there. Sure enough, the cab is empty and Jack acts surprised. I’m not sure why. That always happens on this show.
- 3:15 – Dana goes to speak with Kevin’s probation officer, the guy who played Jimmy James on “Newsradio.” She tells him that she liked “Newsradio” better with Jon Lovitz than Phil Hartman. As such, the probation officer immediately knows she’s lying. Dana admitting she lied over the phone and knew Kevin might have been the actual reason. Who cares at this point? I think we’re all sick of this storyline. Dana also admits to having gone for a romp with Kevin in the back of his van a few weeks ago, and I really hate these writers for making me feel bad for Cole. Dana tries to blow him off by saying that they’re in the middle of an emergency, but he doesn’t care. And why should he? Half of CTU doesn’t seem to care.
- 3:18 – Hassan’s wife blames CTU for losing Kayla, but this one is on NYPD. See? It’s not always CTU’s fault. Samir orders his men to tie up Kayla while putting her in front of a flag that, I assume, is Kamistan’s. Tarin seems conflicted about this. I would be too. Kayla is pretty cute.
- 3:27 – The kidnappers call the Hassans, and CTU, despite the fact that they were expecting this, still have trouble setting up the trace. Ladies and gentlemen – our tax dollars at work. Samir puts it on the Internet and then tortures Kayla by putting a plastic bag over her head. Meanwhile, most surfers are like “Yeah, I’ve seen worse stuff at Rotten.com” Samir wants some file, but Hassan pleads ignorance. What could it be? I’m betting it’s a sex tape or something.
- 3:30 – Nope, turns out it’s a confidential Dept. of Defense file detailing the U.S.’ nuclear detection capabilities. Meanwhile, Arlo thinks he’s detected where Kayla is, so CTU decides to make up a fake file so that they can buy some time. Jack is indignant about not releasing the actual file and the Hassans are outraged that he’s willing to let their precious Kayle die. “You brought this threat onto my country,” Jack says coldly. I bet Hassan’s wife pulls a Sherry Palmer and sends the file to the terrorists behind her husband’s back.
- 3:33 – Tarin shows off his doe eyes to Kayla, and he’s clearly conflicted about this. Samir is concerned that Tarin won’t be up to the job. “Oh, I’m up to the job,” Tarin assures him. You should have seen him a couple of hours ago in the hotel.
- 3:39 – The probation officer is back and he wanders onto the floor. He finally says that he knows about the security cameras going out, and he wants CTU’s data. Stephen Root is delightfully creepy here. Nice addition to the cast.
- 3:42 – Dana calls Cole and tells him “it’s over.” Cole isn’t sure what she means and she says that the probation officer knows about the cameras. Cole says he’ll “talk” to the officer when he gets back, but Dana won’t go for it. Just have Jack do it. He seems to get away with everything.
- 3:44 – Kayla tries to reason with Tarin, and it seems to have an effect. He makes a split decision to take off with Kayla and they make it to a car. Tarin shows off some nice fighting skills, but ultimately, Samir kills him. Kayla takes off in the car. Well, so much for Tarin. I actually thought that maybe the plan was to have Tarin and Kayla escape so that he could get to CTU and take them out, but I guess not.
- 3:50 – Kayla calls into CTU and Jack only cares about where she was being held. How insensitive. She says it was some abandoned bank, and of course, that happens to the only one in the city. Jack and Cole get there and find that it’s completely empty. And yes, I wrote that sentence before it actually happened on TV. Surprisingly, Samir doesn’t leave an explosive or anything behind, so Jack and Cole have the run of the place. Samir could have learned a few things from Marwan.
- 3:55 – Send in the drones! They pick up Samir and his buddies exiting the building, and Jack and Cole move to intercept. Bubba starts popping the champagne corks, and I have a feeling his celebration is a bit premature.
- 3:57 – Turns out, Tarin is still alive as the drone picks up his face. Sure enough the terrorists let her escape because there’s a bomb in her car. Oh man! I was right. Kind of. Jack realizes the plan and tells Bubba not to let Kayla into CTU. Dana says Kayla is pulling into the tunnel, although it would have been much funnier if Kayla had just popped into CTU and been like “Hey everyone!”
- 3:58 – There’s a giant EMP inside the car, and it goes off, incapacitating CTU. In other words, just like when Bierko took them out with the nerve gas, those domestic terrorist blew up the building in season 2, and when the Chinese mercenaries held everyone hostage in season 6. Shouldn’t the government have a contingency plan for if and when CTU gets taken out by now?
- 3:59 – Jack realizes CTU is down and decides to bring in NSA. There goes the neighborhood.
Next week:
CTU is blind. But they still have Jack. No really, that was how FOX promoted next week’s episode. Meanwhile, the probation officer is still on the case, even though CTU just got taken out by an EMP. Never let it be said that he isn’t dedicated to his job. Renee goes for a mani and pedi so she can be ready for her big – uh – talk with Jack.